Annoyed

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I'm fucking annoyed with myself.
The two voices in my head is irritating me to the max.

The angelic voice is all: Be patient, wait for him. You know you can do it.
The devilish voice is all: Ah fuck lah! You so scared of getting hurt. No wait, you're hurt already
what! So why bother getting yourself hurt even more?!!!

And you know what! The conversation continues going on in my head!

"Shut up you fucking devil. Stop inserting the wrong thoughts into her head!"
"You then shut up lah fucking angel! Who you think you are? So holy so innocent ar??? You got halo so what?! I got a pitch fork siah!!!"
"............ She knows she loves him and she knows that he still loves her. So why are you so insistent on breaking them up?????"
"Because that is my job!! I'm a devil for satan's sake!"
"And I am an angel for god's sake! I will stop you at all cost!!!!"
"You shall not succeed!!!"
"Yes, I will!! Haven't you heard before??? The good always triumphs over the evil!"
"Fuck, why am I evil. I wanna be good. I wanna win too......"
"Then be good!~!! Help her by fucking hell getting out of her head!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I like to be in her head."
"............ You're stupid. You're lame."
"So are you."
"I can't be bothered talking to you."
"Neither can I be bothered talking to you."
"Then stop talking to me!"
"You stop first lah!"
"Okay, I'll stop."
"Okay good. Let's stop talking to each other."
-A few moments later-
"Oi devil! Stop that! Stop sending her the wrong messages about love!"
"Siam lah angel! You know what love is meh????"
"Ha! I know! Love is the feeling that she feels for him!!"
"Right... so......?"
"So that is love lah!"
"You're lame..."
"You're stupid."
"Why am I talking to you."
"I don't know."
"................................................."


We're gonna give it another shot. Or more of he is.
Unless he starts to open up to me again, history is gonna repeat itself again.
And regret will definitely be splashed all over the headlines.
I know we can do it. But that is only if he makes an effort.
Not just an effort, but an effort to find back what is lost. To mend a broken bond.
To keep me in his life, to keep me at his running pace.
It's not gonna be easy, but it can be done.

You don't need more time to do it, you just need the effort, the determination, the faith.
You opened up to me today, and I can feel that one tiny step that you've taken.
It's a good progress. Keep it up. Things are starting to look good again.
The future is getting brighter by the moment.
You can do it, I believe you.

Be strong. I am. So can you.
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