I need this free space.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


When I first created this blog, my sole intention was a space in this world where I can speak my mind and express my emotions freely and at the same time keep a record of these thoughts and emotions of mine. Because they are afterall a part of me.

Whenever someone try to change the way I blog, I would always react in a defensive manner because hey, isn't that the same as putting a leash to my mind, controlling my thoughts? I'm sorry that my entries are filled with vulgarities at times. If the entry is directed to you, and is filled with vulgarities, then it is point-blank simple and obvious that I want you to know that I am unhappy. I am not pleased with you. I've chosen to write it out on my blog then to tell you outfront because the words I use when telling you outfront might be even nastier and sometimes unintentional, the words can be said in a moment of folly. Furthermore, typing it out instead gives me a chance to re-affirm what I want to tell you, and to re-organize my thoughts. It is pointless blabbering. Those are thoughts which have gone through meticulous thinking and consideration. Words which are really too crude to be read are removed, so the 'offensive' words left written in the entry are actually the ones which are more read-able.

Like what all other celebrity bloggers have said, you don't like the things I write, then don't read them. We don't need your readership. And I most definitely do not because I do not earn a living through blogging, it is just a passion to me. Each blog defines each blogger in his or her own unique way because we express our thoughts through our chosen words. If you were to limit the words we can choose to use from a dictionary, then what is the entire point of a blog? You might as well go to the library and pick a fictional storybook with a plot you like and it has a happy ending. A blog is the mind of the author, the life of the author, it is the author's world. We've chosen the path of blogging because we want a space to voice out our thoughts, to let out our emotions. Don't limit us, don't fence us in. If you think that what I write is offensive, don't visit my webpages. Spare me the agony of dealing with your emotions and spare yourself from the hurt. Enter my webpages at your own risk - you're not reading any ordinary blog, you're reading my blog.

I don't think I have to splash the words 'ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK' at the homepage of my webpages, because that is seriously stupid. It is a basic common sense kind of thing. And I honestly do not wish to have to list rules on my webpages, please use the brains which you were blessed with at birth. If you are unable to handle my blog entries or my tweets, then don't read them, PLEASE. I'm seriously begging you. I don't want to have deal with any of these nonsense again. I don't like people controlling the way I blog or the way I tweet. This message goes out to everyone.

On a personal note, I hope you know that you're the one I'm talking to from here on. On his account, I've reviewed my past tweets and deleted the ones which might have supposedly upsetted you. I won't do that again. I've only done it this time because I'm doing him a favor, because he is a friend I cherish alot. The silly boy likes you and I don't want to be the one turning things sour between the both of you and be the one robbing him of his happily ever after. But I won't do it a second time. So my advice to you is to stay away from my webpages unless you can take them. If you know that you can't, please do not visit my webpages. I've got enough of my own problems on hand and I don't want to add any more problems onto my mountain pile. So please, I'm imploring you to stay away. I will say this for the last time. I'm tired of having to say this once every few months. I can't stop you from visiting my webpages, if you do, then it is at your own risk. I know that you check on my webpages because you want to make sure that I'm fine and stuff, thank you for your care and concern but this is my life, and clearly both our lives do not mix. Like fire and ice. There is a clear boundary dividing both our lives. Stay in your world, and I'll stay in mine. Also, I am blocking you out of my mind, doing whatever it takes to ignore everything which might possibly remind me of you. Yes, you can even say that I'm attempting to erase all signs of your appearance in my life. Every night I'm still making the same wish, that you never appeared in my life, that you never existed in this world. If you really must know how I'm doing now, ask him, he'll tell you although you and I know that he will only give you one answer and that is "Yes, she is fine." Ok, how about this. If you really want to know how I'm doing, text me, you have my number, I will reply to your text messages cordially. You have my word. And this entry is your proof. I'm not one to break the promises which I've made, you can go ask him. But please, stay away from my webpages ok? Don't make me repeat my words again. That is all.

My appetite has been badly screwed because of this - I skipped dinner. I've only had lunch today and I only ate half of a normal serving. I can hear HJ nagging in my ears already. Sorry man, but like what you know about me, I'm an extremely emotional creature and such stuff have an adverse effect on me. I was packing my files halfway when I dropped them and came to blog because I felt that I had to before my thoughts and emotions vanish into thin air. I didn't want to have to muster them up again once they are gone. So here is another heart-felt entry. Emotions and thoughts straight from my heart.

P.S. I did not use any form of vulgarities in this entry ok. And I tried my best to choose words which might make my message to her less hurtful. So don't you come asking me and wanting me to review my entries again. I'm not editing my entries ever again - not even for your sake. Period.

P.S.S. I have yet to upload pictures of the new house!!! *groans* Got a hell lot of re-sizing to do. I'm not really looking forward to that. When I'm in a much much better mood then I'll get down to working on it.