Pause.

Saturday, June 12, 2010



I feel bad. I've got a friend who's been needing someone to talk to. He has been trying to arrange a timing with me but somehow, I always end up post-poning the meeting to another day. It has happened for weeks already. Perhaps, a certain day next week, I will pull out some time for him. It's time to hit the 'pause' button in my life, to not be so wrapped up about my own life and to help others around me. I will not be a selfish human-being.

To a certain someone:
I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed in you. I don't know how to face you now. I don't know how to talk to you now. I don't know what to say to you now. I'm starting to wonder if I made a wrong decision in being friends with you again. I'm getting really tired and irritated. You know it yourself too, its not the first time you've said those words, its not the first time you said things in a moment of folly. 3 years back, the same thing happened. Not once, not twice. It happened on a routine of every 3 days for 2 months straight. During those 2 months, I forgave you time and again, I tolerated you again and again. Till I could take no more of that nonsense. And without a second word, I walked out of your life and never looked back. After 3 years, I thought that you might have changed for the better, so I decided to give you a second chance, to be friends with you again. But now, even as friends, you're doing the same thing all over again. Am I that insignificant to you? Why are you always taking me for granted? I honestly have no idea what to do with you anymore, neither do I have that strength to deal with it now. Perhaps, you're right, the words you said in that moment of folly is right. Perhaps, it was my mistake, it was wrong of me.
I need some time alone to clear my thoughts.

Don't know what to write anymore. The thoughts I have right now, are much too private. I guess I have to pay my private blog another visit.

Xoxo.