The theoretically right thing

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes in our lives, we are meant to do something wrong? Would doing the right thing necessarily lead you to a happy ending? If that is the case, why did Ariel choose a mortal man even though she knew that it was wrong, instead of the theoretically correct choice -- a mer-man? And why is it that Prince Charming still went for Cinderella even though he knew that he should be choosing a princess, a duchess, or some other rich/royal lady to marry? If our lives are generally led by fairytales/fictional stories, then why is it that nothing in our lives has ever followed the storyline? In fact, everything that has happened is anything but anything in the stories.

Will you ever wonder why is it that instead of putting up a fight or any resistance at all, I raised the white flag and went with whatever you said? Will you ever know that what I felt was real and true? Will you ever know that even though it was merely a split second of sweetness before the walls came crashing down, I still enjoyed that split second, and I held it against my heart as though it was the best miracle that has ever happened, the best gift that has ever been given to me? Will you ever know that I actually wavered and even pondered if I could take a risk, take a gamble and give your faith a shot, just for you?

The thing you'll never know: I do believe in Him. My bestfriend will probably slaughter me after reading that sentence, but whatever. Last year, when I was trying so hard to keep myself alive amidst all the disastrous events, I turned to all the Gods for guidance. I know the question in your head, why all the Gods? Because I believe that every God is real. The belief in them is what makes and keeps them real. It isn't the scientific reasoning nor the physical history. In fact, every scientific reasoning is dubious because there will always be a doubt about one thing or another, a source of error in this or that. As for physical history, most of the supposed-facts which we gathered, are in bits and pieces, which we will then put together and create your so-called 'history'. Every piece of fact has its dubious points and bias side. Nothing in this world is a 100%. Even us, humans, we aren't a 100%. It is said that every human is half of a whole, because we are meant to look for our other half to make ourselves complete. I believe in Mother Nature, and because of that I believe in all the Gods. Every faith, every religion, is real. I am not going to stereotype or be bias against any one at all. This is my choice, my faith.

I'm not going to say 'okay' — because I'm supposed to — when I am obviously not okay at all.

P.S. Oh and, feelings are meant to be irrational. If they are rational, then they'd be anything but real and true.