Breather

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

“I know you think I'm good with words, however when it comes to words used in relation to my emotions, I'm a complete mess. And right now, I'm a mess.

Rod.. When I said breather, what I meant is that.. I'll need a couple of days, alone. I need some time and space to figure out some things. The only word I have as to what 'things' they might be, would be "emotions".

I know I love you. And frankly, I'm missing you already. The next few days without you will be tough to get by for you have become a part of my life over this period of time. I have to do this because I need to look for the answers to questions that I do not know of. Yes I know it sounds strange and weird and it definitely makes no sense, how does a person find answers when she doesn't even know what the question is. Nonetheless, this is a route which I must go down. I need to look for that missing puzzle piece that will put everything right.

Please don't do anything reckless over the next few days. Don't smoke, don't drink, take care of yourself. If you're hungry, EAT. Don't skip your classes (you have school today, remember to bring the right books, grab dinner before you go for your classes, please try to not be late!), don't swear so much, remember to study, try to be punctual for work (although I know that you've never been caught but I rather you not risk it)

You have my word that I'll be back. Wait for me. I'm still holding onto that dream we made at the 'Lake Of Dreams'. I just need to clear my head and sort out some stuff.

Read the book daily. Believe that I'll be back by your side, and before you know it, I'm back and you'll be waking up at 6:55am everyday because of me. (:

Serf says that I'm being silly for worrying that you'll feel hurt. She thinks that all you'll do kiss and hug me, kick up a fuss because you'll be missing me a lot, but you'll understand. I hope she's right because I feel extremely guilty for doing this.

사랑해요. Wait for me.”


Superman, I need you now more than ever. Give me strength and faith, and guide me down this road that I can't make clear of. I have a vision in my head, and that is what's waiting for me at the end of this road. Him with a bouquet of white roses, and hopefully in a new shirt too (he really needs to go shopping), a tub of Geláre Ccokies & Cream, and also the big gorgeous smile on his face. My heart will race when I see him, I'd have that goofy silly look on my face again and stare at him on and on, possibly without ever blinking, and he'd try to avert my eyes because he says he is shy and can't hold onto my look, however he can't resist looking at me and so he'd be battling with his shyness and his desire to fill his eyes, his mind and his heart with solely me.

No forever-route is easy to take. There is lots of growing, nurturing, learning and loving to be done.

I once said before, I'll never break a promise and so I shan't. On our first date, where I confirmed my feelings for him, I made a promise that day to never fail him, never give up on him nor on us, to give him my best and all, and to walk down the path of forever with him.

Breathe, think, feel, be grateful, smile and truly live. I'll find what I'm looking for, then I'll reach the land of unicorns and rainbows. Smile girl, smile. For now you'll feel numb, but at the end of this journey, you know it too that you'll be smiling from the deepest end of your heart as you feel happiness and joy bursting through every seam and every stitch.

Everything will be fine.