Still angry, but it's time to let go

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

For the past couple of days, I have been tangled up with an unfortunate case of severe immaturity. Due to this case, I have had an argument with my beloved quite a number of times. I guess I finally decided to put the white flag up when I was done being hurt, being maligned, being too-nice.

I am still mad. How can I not be, when I have never spoken a single direct mean word to the person, yet I got thrown at with tons of vulgarities and hurtful stuff. I could have pulled out the "boyfriend" card to get the person to stfu, but I didn't because that would be really immature and I thought we could settle things in an adult fashion. It's quite obvious by now that my plan for both of us to end it in an adult fashion was a complete failure. Things didn't get better when she pulled out her "boyfriend" card. What I hated most was that her boyfriend was as immature as she is. I really shouldn't be surprised about that point actually. Which dumbass would repeatedly go back to a girlfriend who ill-treats him like nobody's business? I'm not kidding about the ill-treating. Worst case that I have EVER seen. Makes boyfriend kneels in public to apologise, then slaps and spits at him, and she still thinks she is right for doing all of that. She does not respect her boyfriend at all, and the guy is a fool for allowing his girlfriend to trample over him in such terrible manners.

If there is one kind of people that I hate in this world, it would be "two-faced" people. The thought of it still causes me to clench my jaw and grit my teeth. What is the point in apologising to me and telling me "Yes, my girlfriend is wrong. I'm so sorry about it." and then you go behind my back and tell my boyfriend "No, my girlfriend is right and your girlfriend is wrong. Your girlfriend is so bad (blah blah blah..)" No wonder you are as fucked up as your girlfriend. Despite everything your girlfriend did to me, did I honestly say shit about her when I could have? If she didn't do shit, why is that all I had to do was ask a few questions and she could gather up answers for my questions and retaliate me already? 要不是她心里有鬼,我的话能够刺激她吗?

In most cases, if people really assumed that they didn't do anything at all, they would reply with a "Huh? Can you elaborate on what I did wrong?" But for her, no. She just came at me with a rocket launcher and started blasting away. If not guilty, then please tell me what it is? You can't defend shit for yourself if you don't know what I'm talking about to begin with. So don't come and tell me how innocent you are when you lack of proper upbringing and moral values.

I don't know why I bother typing so much shit about them. Probably because I had so much anger in me and I had been storing all of them up because I know that if I were to release it out, then I would be no different from them and I would be stooping to their level. Therefore I have chosen the means of literature to vent my anger and to let it all out. I would really go insane if I had no avenue to release all these emotions. So just this once, right here on this blog, I would permit myself to let loose and let my emotions take over my hands.

Anyway before I started writing this entry, I had already decided that with this entry, I would close this chapter permanently and my refusal to see nor have anything more to do with these 2 individuals in the future. For all that they have done, I cannot forgive them because they were never even sincere with their apology in the first place. Even if they were to present me with their sincere apologies in the future, it is too late, my mind is made up and hence things will never change.

When I'm nice, I give a person all of me, to the very best. When I'm nasty, I'm shit as hell nasty and the worst bitch ever.

I have decided to leave the rest of this matter in the hands of my boyfriend. I have already told him on my decision and that I will leave my life, my heart, my mind, my security in his hands. He is gonna be my Prince Woohoo and protect me from all evils with his magical guitar! (Yeah ok fine, I'm being ridiculous here but hey lighten up the mood yo!)

End of story. End of this chapter. I will wake up tomorrow morning, free from any of these entanglements (for the rest of my life). I will be happy, chirpy, friendly, joyful, happy-go-lucky and my boyfriend's favourite mood - lovey dovey (:


Have a great day everyone. You deserve it!