I'm in my early 20s

Wednesday, May 15, 2013



I was introduced to this video by Shin (who prefers being known as 'Summer' now, but I'm too used to calling her 'Shin' already!) and this video blew me away.

Before you continue reading the rest of my entry, just click that little triangle at the bottom left side of the video and trust me when I say that it WILL be one of the best 15 minutes that you've ever spent watching a video.

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I believe that you now understand what I meant by mind-blowing. Your mind is racing with thoughts and you are wondering, what should I do?

The only suggestion that I can give you is: Stop wasting time. Grab a paper and write down the things that you like, from your favourite colour to your favourite food and beverage. Write down the things that you want to do, just write it down even if you think that it's impossible because you think you don't have enough of what it takes.

After all the writing (that is when your mind is exhausted, your hand stops scribbling and you are trying to squeeze your brain for that one last drop of brain juice but you don't seem to have any more of it), put down your pen, take up your paper and read it from the top. That, my friends, is your plan.

My plan has been consolidated in my diaries. Maybe one day, I will be hardworking enough to write everything down on one piece of paper, however I don't think 2 pages is going to suffice. I have too many things that I want.

When I was 18, I went through a horrible break-up.

(It's a long story. Read my childish archives if there is an impending need to satiate your curiousity, but BE WARNED: IT IS CHILDISH!)

I thought it was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me and I had to be one of the unluckiest teenage girl in Singapore when it came to affairs of the heart (you have to pardon the mentality that I had back then; everything is exaggerated when a person is depressed!). Ironically the break-up was one of the best thing that ever happened to me.

That break-up got me to start defining what I liked, what I disliked, what I had interest in, what I didn't have interest it. It got me started on the process of defining myself and onto identifying myself.

I guess I was tired of being a kid feeling lost and weak, so I found myself, embraced myself and feeling as a whole gave me strength that got me through everything that I went through for the past 3 years of my life and I am still going on, strong and good.

As I started to define myself, I began to craft my life plan as well. Yes, I might seem insane to have started at such a young age but at least I knew what I wanted. At 18, I knew what wedding band I wanted my future husband to get for me when he proposed to me, I knew how I wanted my wedding ceremony to be like, I knew who I wanted to be there with me during my joyous moment.

Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out how I want my wedding dress, my wedding shoes and my wedding hair to be like. I am waiting for something super amazing and inspiring to hit me hard in my face and make me go "OH MY GAWD. I WANT THAT. FOR MY WEDDING. YES THAT!!!! DEFINITELY THAT!!!"

Those days will arrive, eventually (:

Anyway, my life plan isn't just about my wedding. I talked about wedding because my sister is currently 26, and I caught her doing research on weddings a few weeks back. She was researching on wedding rings, wedding venues, wedding themes... I thought her boyfriend proposed and that she was going to get married!!!

It didn't help that my mother kept tossing marriage in the air when she spoke about/to my sister. Plus my sister has already purchased a BTO 5-room flat with her boyfriend. I couldn't help piecing all the puzzles and jumping to the conclusion that wedding bells are going to be ringing soon! (like who wouldn't right?) I knew it was coming but I didn't expect it to be so soon!! And my sister usually tells me everything, so when I assumed that she was hiding from me the fact that she was going to get married soon, I jumped on her and interrogated her about it.

Her answer: No, I'm not getting married yet and he hasn't proposed yet. I'm just doing my research now so I wouldn't have to panic when he does propose, and I don't see a need for an engagement ring. All I want is a wedding ring, so I might as well get it perfected and it will be better and easier if I start planning now.

I'm not trying to imply that my sister is slow in her planning process. As compared to the norm, she is just fine.

I am the anomaly who decided to plan super early, so no time is wasted nor squandered away. I'm not saying that it is bad being the anomaly — out-liers are just different from the points on the equation.

With a clear goal in mind, it is easier for me to see where I am heading for and what path to take.

I can honestly say that I haven't figured out my entire life yet, but I do know that I want to have no regrets on the day that I die and if I waste a minute of my precious 20s, then I would be one step closer to regret when I do finally lie on my deathbed.

That is what that has been pushing me so far and it has been my constant self-motivation to achieve greatness.

I haven't done anything great yet, but one day I will.

And all of it will start with this darn fine blog.