We did the four minutes test

Monday, March 30, 2015

Have you ever heard of the...

"four minutes test"?



I came across this video on my Facebook feed some time back. It caught my attention and I decided to have a little experiment with hubby.

We tried it out a few nights back.

I had a glass of whiskey before we stared into each other's eyes intently, which might have attributed to a possible inaccuracy of results. Nonetheless, it was pretty fun and the results were interesting.

Just to briefly summarise what the four minutes test is:
Based on a theory by Arthur Aron, who succeeded in causing two strangers to fall in love with each other in his laboratory some twenty years ago.

It is an experiment in which two people are made to stare into each other's eyes for four uninterrupted minutes. At the end of the four minutes, each person should feel closer and more connected to the other, no matter their relationship to each other prior to the experiment.

Things to note before starting the test:
  • Have a smartphone with timer function
  • Use two similar chairs or an equally-leveled sitting area that is fit for two
  • Adequate room lighting
  • Remove or turn off all possible distractions (eg. have your phone on "do not disturb" mode, turn off TV or radio, and etc)
  • Fulfil your innate needs — Empty your bladder!!!!!!!!


In the first 15 seconds, there were a lot of giggles and lip biting (as an attempt to stifle our emerging laughter). We tried our best to keep a straight face.

Whispers were exchanged - "Stop laughing", "What me? You stop giggling", "You stop first", "Shh.. we're not suppose to talk", "You're making me wanna laugh even more".

By the 30 seconds mark, we settled into a mood of comfortability.

I started analysing his face. I realised how puffy his eye bags were.... I thought to myself, "Gee, his work must be really tough and stressful."

I examined his perfect eyebrows, his cheeks, his nose, the corner of his lips, his hairline, his white hair (Oops, think I might have stressed him out way too much with my bits of bimbotism)(Nah it's a genetic thing lol)

Just as I was about to reminisce about how we met, about our first date...

The alarm rang.

I felt that 4 minutes was a very short time. I craved for a couple more minutes.

As for hubby, he said that he spent most of the time being distracted by the itch at his back -_-


However he did get something out of our little experiment.

He said,

"As I looked at you... I realised that, I can do this for the rest of my life. I can look at your face, for the rest of my life."


I think this is a test that every couple should get to try at least once in their relationship.

The test tells you a lot.
1) It makes you face the other party.

2) It challenges the level of comfortability you have with the other party.

3) You have to bridge past the point of discomfort and unfamiliarity.

4) It forces you to face your fears about yourself.

5) It forces you to open up and relax and just be in your own skin.